Proper Care
by Vampire Tails
Summary: (Hi Skool AU) It'd been five years after Zim was told the truth. Now he has to care for a "baby". When will the dramatics end? [ZADF]
1. Monday

**A/N:** Here is my very first Invader Zim fanfic! mind you, it's also an Invader Zim AU! I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

* * *

 **Proper Care  
** **Chapter One: Monday**

It was a regular day at Hi Skool, a Monday in late September to be more precise. And it was also noontime, the sun at its highest point in the usually dreary sky. A certain green, still tiny alien amongst his peers was walking to home room, wearing deep blue eye contacts and his classic wig. Today was also a special day, since it was exactly five years since the Tallests had revealed that they lied to Zim about his mission. And the alien didn't know why but after all the anger and depression, he felt freer than he'd ever been. Of course, some of it still remained, but still...

However, with this freedom came a price, as Ms. Bitters had loved to ram in their heads.

But that was a story for another day.

Zim scratched at his wig, finding it no less uncomfortable than it was when he'd first had it donned, his pinkish zipper teeth gritted together. "Stupid disguise. I don't even know why I bother anymore," he mumbled, even with people who could listen in around him.

He then rubbed at his lenses, almost growling. A shadow then loomed over him, a scythe-like cowlick forming at the tip. "What's the matter, _Zim_?"

"Go away, Dib-filth."

Ah, Dib. Even after five years the now gangly teenager still felt the need to tease and prod. How the alien _hated_ him.

"You know, we're in the same home room, so no, I don't think I will," was his smirking reply.

 _What a smartypants_ , the Irken growled to himself as he kept walking, an antenna wanting to prick upwards but restrained by the wig. But it was true. They were indeed in the same home room.

And the class after that. And the class after that. But afterwards Zim was free from the worm baby. And he was lucky that he shared no classes with the demon child who was Dib's sister, Gaz. It was nice to think about.

"You're usually full of words. Call me all kinds of names, why dontcha?" Dib's voice cut through his thoughts, reminding Zim that the boy was still following him.

"Not in the mood, _Dib_ ," Zim said through his teeth, tugging at his usual military shirt. Before Dib could say anything else, they'd reached the classroom and took their seats.

The teacher's back was to them as they sat in the relatively large chair, facing the board. Zim and Dib exchanged glances, and the murmurs started up as they had a few more minutes to spare.

Unfortunately, the teacher didn't allow them said minutes, and turned around in the chair, revealing…

Ms. Bitters?!

There was an uproar from the entire class, but Zim and Dib knew better to stay quiet. It was indeed the same teacher from their elementary skool, with the white hair tied in a bun and her entire form, save her face, shrouded within darkness.

"Be quiet!" she commanded, and the class followed up shortly, a deadly silence falling over them. "Now.. I'm your substitute for today. Don't know why they so called for _me_ but I'd rather not know."

Gears were turning in the alien's head as the teacher kept talking. He thought she retired. What was she doing here? other than the fact that "they", whoever they were, called her back from what seemed to be retirement. If this human ever retired, that is. If she ever even _was_ human.

"...I'm only here to impart an assignment. It should be simple enough for you putrid smells," a bug snaked across her stern face as she held her nose. "You smell fouler as teens and that only means you're closer to your doom. Thank goodness."

Zim perked up at the word "assignment", his eyes widening. Dib was the same. They hardly ever did have homework in home rooms, as odd as that was. But today seemed more special than Zim thought.

"If you'll look in your desks, you may find a toy baby inside," Ms. Bitters seemed to cringe at this. "For a week, you are to take good care of it."

There was a collective groan coming from everyone but Zim, who seemed intrigued as he held the toy within his gloved, three-fingered claws. He turned it over and side to side, blinking.

Dib couldn't find one, and he looked over at Zim, gasping at the fact that the Irken, a _dangerous_ _alien_ , had one in his grasp. He winced when Zim almost dropped it, and little yelps echoed from his mouth as he fumbled with it.

"Some of you will not have one," the teacher continued with her drone voice, hands folded upon the desk, "and that's because you will be randomly placed in pairs. Gender is no object here."

That's when Dib began sweating bullets, much to Zim's confusion. For once, he didn't want to be paired with Zim. He had plans this week and didn't want some threatening plot to change that.

As the names dwindled down and the teacher called out pairs, the more Dib realized it was inevitable.

"Dib and Zim, you're the final pair," and they were indeed paired together, not that the teacher cared. The Irken exile blinked, feeling his heart drop to his squeedlyspooch. Of course it would be his luck to be paired with a bully. Even if he only picked on Zim.

He raised his hand, and Ms. Bitters called on him, narrowing her eyes behind her glasses, "Yes, Zim?"

"There has to be some kind of mistake. You can't pair the almighty Zim with the likes of him," and it was out, with the alien clamming his hands over his mouth with eyes wide once more. Old habits die hard, he supposed.

Surprisingly, Ms. Bitters made no movement and she simply sighed, "All pairs are final, Zim."

The human slammed his head onto the desk with the intention of breaking his huge skull wide open, but to no avail. It just gave him a headache.

Chuckles were heard from the rest of the class, before Ms. Bitters craned her neck at them, and they stopped just as quickly as they started.

"If the baby dies or the meter on its back drops below zero, which is also death," Ms. Bitters paused for dramatic effect, "you will be doooooomed for the course."

"But there are no grades for this course!" Dib shouted, hand raised.

"There is now. Now go," she pointed towards the door and turned her back towards the students.

Zim was the first one to get up, sweating from the pores on his face. He stuffed the toy baby into his PAK, biting his lip. A grade? for home room? what was this, penitentiary? he had no idea how to take care of a child, much less a baby. It just wasn't required in Irken training. That and Irkens didn't have family units. What was he to do?

Regardless of all his nervosity, within the four minutes he made it to his next class with no troubles. Social Studies. It would be empty for the next couple minutes.

Dib panted as he caught up to him, pushing up his glasses, and looked down at the alien, frowning.

"I don't _have_ to listen to _you_ , you know," Zim narrowed those deep blue ovals, his back still to him. It wasn't particularly a smart move, for any _human_ , but he could sense everything beyond his peripheral vision. Truly something superior, yet his Tallests tossed him aside. He'd never understand why.

"Look, like it or not, we're in this together, space boy," the boy countered, which led to Zim groaning, finally turning to face the teen. "So we need to work together! no more running off."

"Zim knows! he just doesn't want to be bothered right now, especially by you, Dib-stink," he pointed at the human dramatically.

"Where's the baby?" he sighed, completely ignoring what the alien said. Zim grunted, mentally instructing the PAK to give him the toy, and out it came, within a claw. Dib gasped, "You don't put it where it can suffocate!"

"There's plenty of space within my PAK, Dib," Zim replied blankly, not seeing the problem. After all, it was just a toy. It couldn't breathe at all. He took the toy baby and examined it again, when it started crying.

He almost dropped it again, fumbling with it. Yet, if he knew it was just a toy, why did he not want to drop it? was it because he would consider it a crushing indignity?

Dib facepalmed, grimacing once more, and that's when classmates started filing in, one by one, sometimes two. "That's not the point. Why don't you let me take care of it for the week?"

He didn't know how to care for babies either, but it was better than leaving it in the hands of Zim.

"ZIM NEEDS NO HELP!" he yelled over the cries, and several students at this point looked up at him and the crying baby, but said nothing. Zim patted the baby, in the wrong spot but nonetheless shushing it, but that would only be one time. He didn't know that though. He smirked smugly at Dib, who looked flabbergasted as he walked to his seat. Zim followed suit, just as the teacher came in…

* * *

It had been rare that Zim traversed into the deeper bowels of his house since the Tallests admitted the truth, but today was a special case. Right after skool, he'd rushed home, completely ignoring his robot friend, Gir, who was spouting nonsense about waffles and scary monkey shows that the alien couldn't care less about.

"Computer," he ordered, holding the bundle in his arms, "how do you care for human babies?"

" **Processing…** " it took what seemed like forever, but… " **error! cannot compute!** "

"Guh, what good are you?!" Zim frowned, a snarl upon his lips. He almost crushed the baby, but loosened his grip at almost the last minute.

" **The Irken Empire has no use for human babies** ," came the sardonic but still monotone reply, and Zim sighed. So this was the taste of defeat.

"Guess I'll need to take a trip to the library then," he headed up the elevator, coming up through the toilet. He jumped down from it. "Gir!"

"Yes, sir!" the unit called, immediately in duty mode with a hand to his head.

"Watch the house while I'm gone," he strode on over to the door, and opened it. He looked back to see Gir nod and thus headed out.

Fortunately, there were no rain clouds in the sky, and it wasn't to rain until some time next week. Not that he wasn't prepared should it happen. He had paste, after all, and had bathed himself in it every day.

It was overall a beautiful day, despite the autumn season threatening to make it cooler as each day passed. Zim watched with wonder as the trees slowly, very slowly, released their leaves, which in turn fluttered to the ground.

And to think he'd wanted to destroy this place. Surely the nature was worth sparing…

Before the thinking could get dark though, he crashed right into someone. And that someone crashed into him. He saw a black trench coat as he fell, and that clued him into only one person.

Dib.

"Oh, hey, just the person I was looking for. You know we're paired up, right?" no apology or anything, but Zim could sense it on his tone and the way he held his hand out for the alien.

He batted the hand away as he picked himself up and brushed himself off with the now laughing toy baby tucked within the crook of his arm. Zim then took the baby and coddled it again, narrowing his eyes as he glanced down at the nearly leaf-covered ground, "Yes."

Dib sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets, "Look, I'm trying to be civil here -"

"Can't you be civil elsewhere? the almighty Zim has somewhere to be!"

"Would that somewhere be the library?" Dib replied, tilting his head. He kept an eye on the baby the whole time. Making sure it wasn't damaged in any way - say, through an examination. It wasn't, much to his surprise.

Caught off guard, Zim sputtered, eyes wide. He wheeled backwards, almost dropping the baby again, and the human hurriedly took it from his startled claws. "H..how did you know?"

"I know that computer wouldn't have what you're looking for, being alien tech and all," Dib smiled smugly, proud to have the rug tugged out from beneath Zim, as he rubbed at the toy baby's hair.

Zim said nothing for a while, narrowing those blue eyes into slits, farther and farther until they were almost closed. "I suppose I will require your assistance, Dib-human."

"But of course, space idiot," the human laughed. It was a nasty laugh, to the alien of course. Until Zim bumped into him again to keep walking, this time succeeding in knocking him over like a door. Thank goodness he wasn't holding the baby any other way. Sometimes the little green alien's strength surprised him.

"Now, are we going to just stand here or are we going to get stuff done?" Zim walked onwards, allowing full sway of his arms since Dib had the baby now.

Getting up with a slight smile upon his face, the teenager stood onto his feet and followed.

* * *

Sitting at a computer, Zim had to get used to not talking to it so loudly as he was shushed several times by the others. After a few minutes of this, Dib chuckled, finally informing him, "It's not that kind of computer, Zim."

"Shut your hole, worm child," but he nonetheless complied and stopped trying to speak to the PC. He wasn't embarrassed. Why would he be? if anything, everyone else should be embarrassed for they tried to shush the almighty Zim!

Dib's soft chuckles continued, as he typed in the search engine the same question Zim had asked, "How to care for a baby."

Within minutes, there were answers, but the first one suited their needs just fine. Printing it out, they read over it, Zim asking questions and Dib answering them.

"I doubt we'll need real _anything_ , for this, Dib-filth."

"You're right."

"Of course I'm right, I'm - geh?" Zim was once again caught off guard. His right antenna would have pricked upwards with confusion had his wig not been hiding it.

"This _is_ only a toy, after all," Dib couldn't help laughing, as he raised the baby up by the fingers, and he was then shushed by the librarian. He tried to reign in his laughter the best he could, but ended up being kicked out, but not banned.

Literally kicked out, as his face was kissing asphalt. It all happened so fast, only the ones watching knew what happened.

Collecting the paper and putting it into his PAK, Zim walked out of the library, stared at Dib in silence, and then out and out laughed, gripping his spooch with both arms as he keeled over, kneeling on the stairs.

The human lifted his head, adjusting his ridiculously strong glasses, and then shook his head. He gasped as soon as he realized what happened and checked on the toy.

Luckily, it wasn't hurt. Or so they thought...

 _Whew, that was close…_ but Zim was still laughing, safe outside the boundaries of the book home.

Wiping tears from his eyes, the short alien giggled, "That's a good one!"

"Yeah, very funny," sarcasm dripped from his tone. But, as he got up and dusted himself off with one hand, he couldn't bring himself to be mad.

* * *

"So, whose house should we visit?" Zim walked beside Dib, glancing up at the gangly young man. And then he grimaced. "I hope it's not yours."

"This isn't about Gaz, is it?" the human boy snickered.

"No! pitiful human!" and then Zim proceeded to stumble over his words, "why would Gaz-human be part of the equation?" he stumbled again, and sighed, looking down at the ground, "yes."

"I wouldn't worry about her. She's off at a gaming tournament that lasts all week," he hiked up the baby in his arms, pushing up his glasses.

"Oh," was Zim's only response. That explained why she wasn't at skool. She was spared this horrid project. Even Zim wouldn't wish this on his worst enemy. Maybe the old Zim would, but those days were over now.

Gaz and her Game Slave were made for each other, after all. Zim didn't, _couldn't,_ see any time for her to care for a toy, much less a toy baby.

The two eventually reached the Membrane's house, and Zim stared up at it, as if expecting it to do something, while Dib walked on along the pavement, looking back at the alien. He sighed, "Unlike your house, mine isn't rigged with a security system that attacks everything in sight."

"Oh, I knew that!" Zim chuckled halfheartedly, waving an arm. Even though he should've turned it off ages ago, his rather appropriate paranoia left it on. Who knew the dangers that possibly lurked behind every corner just waiting to enter?

He joined Dib on the porch, watching the boy fiddle with his keys, the toy baby tucked in the crook of his arm. Zim tugged it out almost carefully and coddled it against his chest.

Eventually, he found the right key and unlocked the door, opening it and gesturing for Zim to go in first. The Irken narrowed his eyes, shaking his head. "You want me to go in first? no, thank you, Dib-filth."

"I haven't set up anything," Dib told him, exasperated, with his brow drawn down. "For once.."

"He lies! you _lie_!" punctuating the last sentence, Zim stood on the tips of his toes and jabbed Dib's chest repeatedly.

"Fine, space dweeb!" the boy frowned, shoving off Zim's finger. "I'll go in first." And so the boy, determined to show Zim he was telling the truth, stomped in, and raised his hands as he stood within the house, and for good measure, he walked along the room too.

Nothing happened.

Zim seemed utterly confused, briefly rubbing at his lenses. When the sight was still the same, his mouth curled into an "o" shape.

"See, Zim?" Dib turned around, the creases in his brow fading slightly, "I'm not lying. Now come on in."

The alien paused for a brief moment, before he entered the home, and then closed the door. He looked around. They did some redecorating, but not much to consider it totally different. Just a few changes here and there. A few changes Zim couldn't be bothered to report.

He then looked to Dib, frowning, a question on his tongue. He was crisp for the taking, for some name-calling, even for a bucket of water to fall upon his head. So why wasn't Dib doing that?

"Like I said, we're in this together," the human replied to the unsaid question, wringing his hands. "So you can call it a truce."

"I suppose that's what it is…" Zim quietly replied, handing Dib the baby before he reached into his PAK and got out the guide. "So, what should we do? the baby is not crying so I assume its needs are met."

Dib turned the baby over and regarded the meter on its back. Half. That was good. He was afraid it'd be less than zero. "Well, we have half on the meter. I guess it needs _something_."

"Wait, half?!" he paled when he saw Dib nod, and snatched the toy off his hands. That's when the baby started crying again, "Gah!" followed by him nearly dropping it again. It stopped soon afterwards.

"Maybe it's hurt," the wannabe paranormal hunter suggested. "Check for any bruising."

"Purplish blue marks, right?" Zim walked over to sit on the couch, checking the baby over.

"Mhm.." Dib just stayed standing, bending over to pick up the paper. Soon, the alien found a mark on the baby's forehead and a mark on its arm. The same one he snatched. He grimaced at how real they looked.

"The almighty Zim found two!" he shouted, "and they do not look pretty."

Dib bit back a remark, running and grabbing some gauze from the cabinet in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Zim tried his best to comfort the toy, feeling stupid all the while. For some reason, a simple pat wasn't working this time. The moment Dib came back and offered his hand, Zim gently shoved the baby into it, only for the boy to shake his head at his actions.

The young man sat down beside Zim, and began wrapping the bruises with the gauze. Years of treating his own bruises taught him everything he needed to know.

The Irken simply watched, scratching at his wig again. It was weird taking care of something instead of destroying it. Even though his partner in skool, Dib, was doing most of the work. Hell, he'd almost resolved to doing this himself. He was glad he didn't.

"Why don't you take your wig off? you're safe here," to which Zim replied with a look out the window and at cameras everywhere.

"So you can capture my beautiful alieness on film!? pah! you can forget it, Dib-filth!" he crossed his arms, turning up his unseen nose. And then with a finger, he pointed to the window. Where everyone could see into their house.

Dib simply rolled his eyes and turned the baby on its stomach to look at the meter. It was now inches away from being full. He smiled. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

 **A/N:** I had a dilemma going on. Whether I should continue this or leave it as a oneshot. But I decided that there's so much to do with this story, so I'll be continuing this sporadically. So, yeah. I hope you enjoyed and I hope everyone was in character, somewhat. This is an AU after all, and I have yet to finish watching Invader Zim myself. :3

So, please leave a review, and I'll see you whenever!


	2. Tuesday

**A/N:** I decided I couldn't wait a week. Four days should be enough, right? I would like to say thank you to dib07 for reviewing, and to ChristLover546 for favoriting! no idea why you didn't follow this story too, as it's not a oneshot, but you'll find that out soon enough! and I'd also like to thank Scarecrow345 for following! so, without further ado (adieu?), here's the second chapter! enjoy!

* * *

 **Proper Care  
** **Chapter Two: Tuesday**

Much of the previous night had been more or less letting the baby heal and feeding it - Zim and Dib were both displeased to learn that it did indeed take in fluids - and then tucking it in for bed. Dib had done that part while Zim waited outside the door, a bit more anxious than he'd wanted to admit.

The baby had awoken a few times during the night, crying its little heart out and unceremoniously waking them up. It took an unwilling diaper change to calm it, and some more feeding too.

Now, Monday was over. And Tuesday had begun.

Zim looked rather worse for wear as he got ready for school, adjusting his wig and putting his contacts back in, for he refused to sleep with them in. While Irkens didn't particularly need sleep, he found himself exhausted after this.

Yep, definitely something he wouldn't wish on his enemies. Even though now they all had to deal with this. He looked to see Dib getting ready for school too, but his insomnia, as he was used to it already, left him in partially better straits than the alien.

"I never thought an alien like you would be so.." he smacked his lips and Zim had to cringe, "drained."

"Ah, shut it, Dib-worm," he clumsily placed the baby guide in his PAK, which was currently pumping a special kind of caffeine in his systems so he wouldn't pass right back out. He then sighed as he humored a reply, "To be honest, Zim did not think he would be so drained either."

"Would you like some coffee? I promise it'll be extra sweet."

So Dib had been paying attention to his and all Irkens' diet. That was good.

"Ehhh, as long as you don't use that filthy earth water to make it," he figured an extra boost wouldn't hurt.

"Milk it is," Dib headed down to the kitchen, not only to brew some coffee but to pick up some baby supplies, backpack slung across his shoulder. Meanwhile, Zim gathered the hopefully still sleeping baby carefully, staring at it with a bit of disdain. He turned it over, noting the meter on its back was full, and sighed of relief. Coddling it against his chest, he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Dib was nearly finished brewing the sugary drink by the time Zim headed downstairs, a slump in his step. He grumbled, "I bet the coffee machines back on Irk would make it faster than your earth equivalent."

The human shot him a glare, and sighed, "This was state of the art, made by my dad. We just hadn't used it in a good while."

"Uh-huh…" the alien tilted his head, crossing his arms. It showed that he didn't necessarily believe this. Dib wasn't above fibs, after all. The human simply shrugged. Why argue over a coffee maker?

Seconds later, it was done, and the creamy, sugary, caffeinated fluid was handed to Zim, and the alien grabbed it, his glove protecting his claw from the sheer heat. But he didn't sip it yet. It was still too hot. He knew that much.

The gangly teen placed a cap on the cup and Zim had to resist raising an eyebrow. He'd seen these kinds of caps before, but never at one's home. Dib then picked up his own cup from the counter, yawning slightly. "A'ight, let's go."

And then they both exited the home, walking towards skool. Warm air hit them sometimes, a little warmer than yesterday, but warm nonetheless. Zim swirled and finally took a sip of his drink, and found himself lost in bliss. The sugary and milky and creamy textures complemented each other as they danced upon his segmented tongue, and he felt more awake as the extra caffeine worked through his system.

Dib had only used milk and a little of cream and sugar in his, just enough for it to taste like something, for he was unable to handle that amount of sugar in the morning.

The alien gained a pep in his step as he drank more of the beverage, almost done with the relatively medium-sized cup. The human drank his not as quickly, but felt more refreshed and ready to take on the world with each sip. But the silence, however companionable, was bugging him just a tad. Usually he himself had things to say, but now he just couldn't find the words. Perhaps it was because he wasn't really awake yet? he wasn't sure.

Zim took notice of this, and raised an eyebrow, looking up at the human, "I see you're not in the mood for talking, eh?"

"I am, but I just can't think of anything to say…" he sheepishly admitted, taking another sip. Zim only laughed.

"The _Dib_ , _speechless_? what is this? an alternate dimension?" he poked fun at the human, smirking.

"No, I'm just half-asleep," he replied with a light chuckle as the leaves were crunching underneath their feet. Zim swirled his drink some more, before taking one final swig and sighing of relief. Dib then frowned, stopping his pace and just standing there.

It took the Irken a few seconds to notice something was amiss, and he stopped too, turning back to face the human. "What is this? Dib, are you falling asleep on me? nobody falls asleep on the mighty Zim!"

The gangly teenager shook his head, narrowing his amber eyes, a sign that he was indeed awake, - the coffee made sure of that - and adjusted his glasses with his free hand. "Actually, I do have a question. What are you planning?"

"Planning? the Zim is planning nothing, and even if he was, he wouldn't tell _you_ about it!" Zim screamed once again, and the human was so used to it he didn't even cover his ears.

"But it's been five years," Dib pointed out. He'd watched the alien suffer mood swings worse than ever, before it all just.. stopped.

Zim paused, as if something stung there, and his expression blanked out. "I fail to see how that's important, earth-stink. So it's been five years. What about it?"

"There's nothing evil in that head of yours cooking up?" he took another sip of his coffee, swirling it afterwards.

"No. I've moved on. Now, we're going to be late for skool," Zim then resumed his pace, at a much quicker rate however. "So we'd best hurry up."

Dib looked at his watch and paled. Had simply talking taken up that much time? finishing off his coffee, he ran to catch up with Zim.

* * *

What Zim had said had been bothering Dib all day. He could hardly focus on the teachers and what they explained it was so bad. _Moved on? how on earth could someone like him move on?_

But it had been true. The city and the world were safe for the past five years, unless he was plotting something that took years to come to fruition. But Zim wasn't like that. He would want quick results. So maybe he _had_ moved on. But why?

Dib sat in his fourth period class pondering these questions, holding the unusually quiet baby as he doodled. A plan was formulating in his head right now, and Zim was not around to see the gears turning in his head. He had to get to the bottom of this, if it was the last thing he did.

* * *

Zim had made it out of skool before Dib, and he looked around at the various students passing him by. Some weren't new, and others he'd never seen before. They each held different features to their faces and had different ways of walking. As opposed to Irkens, who all looked the same, save for eye color and antennae, and held themselves in the same arrogant, smug stance and pace. He sat on the steps, admiring such diversity and wondering what was taking Dib so long.

"Hey! green kid!" a familiar voice startled him, and, looking up, he found he was right to be startled. It was Chunk, a frown on his face and cracks in his knuckles, "You wanna go?!"

For a moment, the alien was confused. _Go where?_ he looked around again, biting his lip carefully, before it dawned on him. _Oh. It's slang for "fight"._ _Filthy earth creature can't even use English properly._

Apparently, he took too long to respond, for the orange-haired, rather muscular boy grabbed him up by the neck of his mauve military shirt, and Zim widened his eyes. "I guess I'll have to repeat myself up close. Do. You. Want. To. Go?"

"Leave him alone," another familiar voice. It was Dib. Usually Dib would laugh and point fingers at the situation, but now? now he was defending the Irken? it didn't make sense.

And there was a crowd forming around the three, obviously wanting a fight to happen. They were stomping, and chanting it, over and over again, grating on Zim's antennae. They gasped for a bit when Dib intervened, but continued their shenanigans soon enough.

"Why should I, four eyes?" Chunk looked up at him with those bright green eyes, not even bothering to let Zim go. "If I recall correctly, you bothered th' dude too."

Dib took a step back, gripping at his chest with a free hand. While it was true that he did indeed bully Zim, it was for a different reason. But that didn't make it okay. He shook his head, "Things change, Chunk. I'd have thought you would too."

"For that remark, I should beat _both_ of you up!" he then flung Zim to the ground and he kissed asphalt, which barely hurt in the slightest. "But since you have a baby on board, I'll let it slide. For now…" he narrowed those eyes and walked away, pushing past the crowd, who was now booing at them for not fighting.

"Nothing to see here, folks, move along," Dib shooed them away, before he turned to Zim, who was standing up, brushing himself off and muttering distasteful words about Chunk and the crowd. "That was close. You alright, Zim?"

"Just peachy," came his biting remark, deep blue eyes burning metaphorical holes into Chunk's back.

"What are you planning?"

"Nothing. I just wish for Chunk and his pathetic flunkies to face their inevitable doooom!" he raised his hands and clenched them into fists.

"Aaand you're not going to speed that up?" Dim raised an eyebrow, "like you almost did with the moose room?"

"Zim wants to, but he won't," he began walking away, and Dib followed, not sure if he was relieved or worried.

Halfway to their neighborhood, Dib suggested they head for Zim's home this time around.

"What? why? isn't Gaz still at this tournament of games?"

And, of course, he faced some resistance; narrowed eyes and pursed lips made up the alien's countenance.

"She is, but I just figured maybe you'd want to go _there_ for the night. Sure must be stuffy in that wig and all," he was being overly friendly.

Nonetheless, Dib was right. It was indeed stuffy and uncomfortable. And the contacts, even worse. Especially since he'd worn the wig for nearly two days now. His antennae deserved freedom.

"Fine, Dib-stink. But bring your coffee machine."

"You don't have your own?"

Silence told him all he needed to know.

* * *

Right after Zim entered the home, - and told the Computer it was okay to let Dib in after the boy narrowly avoided a deathtrap - the alien had his disguise taken off by his PAK, and he took a deep breath and released it in a long, loud sigh of relief, letting his antennae prick upwards in their default position.

Dib set the silver, still slick coffee maker on the counter in the kitchen, as well as unloading coffee packets, milk, cream and sugar, and looked back at Zim, seeing the alien in all his glory, though it was slightly marred by the baby in his claws.

"Ah, it feels good to be free from society," he rubbed at one of his eyes, grinning.

"Well, we still have homework to do, so…" Dib immediately popped the bubble, with a frown.

Zim sighed, rubbing at the other eye now as his antennae flattened across his skull, "Of course, Dib-smell, of course…"

The plan was already halfway complete. All he had to do now was wait till Zim fell asleep so he could search for _something_ that might pinpoint what exactly happened five years ago. He'd ask the alien himself, but he knew Zim, so.. drastic measures.

Both of them brought out the folders for math and science and completed the handouts in less than ten minutes. Which was perfect timing because the baby started to cry. Shrilly, at that.

This caused Zim and Dib to crowd around it, the Irken's antennae flattening once more.

"Okay, so it needs to be either fed, comforted or changed," Dib surmised, earning a look from the alien.

"Well, don't just stand there, Dib! check! my senses can't take much more!"

The boy frowned as he sniffed the air around the baby, and let loose a breath of relief when it wasn't stinking. "So it's not that.."

Zim soon had an idea and reached into his PAK and brought out a bottle of milk, picking up the baby and stuffing the nipple into its mouth. This seemed to calm it, as it suckled the bottle, the liquid almost quickly draining. He stared at the baby, pursing his lips. It felt weird holding it as it fed, but a part of it felt.. good? nice? he didn't know what this meant.

Dib watched him stare, and knew almost exactly what was happening, even if those translucent ruby, bug eyes didn't show much of anything. The baby was soon finished with the bottle, whining slightly. The alien then narrowed his eyes neutrally as he set the toy against his shoulder and began patting its back until it burped. He felt so stupid. Yet a part of it felt right somehow.

The young man didn't say a thing to interrupt this moment, even smiling a little, until it laughed and Zim passed the toy baby over, shaking his head. "The Zim feels weird. Take it from him now."

Dib then chuckled, and took the baby off Zim's claws. Figures that would be his reaction, though Dib figured it would be a lot more.. screamy.

* * *

The bad side of caffeine kicked in well into the night. The two had crashed, especially Zim, and Dib had to explain the concept of "crashing" to him.

"Ohhh…" he had dramatically moaned, climbing into the lower bed haphazardly, "why does this 'crashing' feel so.. horrid?!"

"Just get some sleep. It'll wear off."

Zim hadn't had much of a choice in the matter, as his PAK was begging him to sleep to recover his energy reserves. And Dib found himself lucky that there was a bunk bed, as he'd be forced to sleep on the floor otherwise, though it was most likely for Gir.

Where _was_ Gir anyway?

He needed all the help he could get anyway while Zim was asleep. Dib sluggishly checked on the baby, and found it was also asleep. He took a deep breath, and sighed, doing some quick exercises to try and get himself back up to par.

Hopefully he'd get what he needed before Zim woke up or the baby woke up Zim. Whichever came first. So he dove for the toilet and used it to head down to the labs. He'd only seen it once, a long time ago, before security measures kicked him out. This time, he was safe.

At least, until he ran into Gir. With his loud mouth, he was bound to wake everyone. Dib didn't know how deep this place went. For all he knew, the main floor could have been twenty feet above here.

So it surprised him when Gir simply waved, with merely a slight pitch to his voice, "Hi, Big-Head Boy!"

Nonetheless, he knelt and shushed the robot, and was even more surprised when Gir complied. And then he decided to humor the childish bot, "Um.. hey.." and then he thought to ask, "do you happen to know what happened five years ago?"

The unit looked around, with those round cyan eyes and put a hand to his stitched mouth. Dib found himself sweating; the bot was taking too long. Eventually he shrugged, "I doon't know. But the Computer probably doos!"

Right, the Computer! why didn't he think of that?

He stood up, yawning a little, and turned to face the giant monitor encased within the wall. "Computer?"

" **Yesss?** " it took a while, but there was the reply. The young man was even more shocked. He thought Zim was the only one able to ask the Computer anything.

"Explain what happened five years ago, please," Dib licked his lips. This was it. He was about to receive the answers.

" **I'm afraid that's confidential information.** "

And his hopes were dashed, just like that.

"You've gotta be kidding me!"

" **But I'm not** ," the monitor told him.

Gir looked between the machine and the human as they had this conversation, his tongue sticking out idly. There were more words, but Gir was too busy thinking to pay them any mind. He then opened the compartment in his head, reached in and grabbed a copy of a memory chip among many. Perhaps somewhere in each of these scrambled chips was what happened five years ago.

He poked Dib's leg and the gangly teenager looked down and saw the chip being handed to him.

"What's this?" he took it from the bot, examining it.

"It a memory chip!"

A thought crossed Dib's mind just then. If he could plug this into Tak's ship, he could review the memory.

A low sigh reverberated throughout the lab, but the Computer didn't say anything more.

"Thanks, Gir! at least _someone_ understands," he spat at the Computer, not literally, but yeah.

" **And at least someone has to go back upstairs because a certain someone is waking up** ," he retorted, and Dib gasped, pocketing the chip. He scrambled for the elevator, just as Gir waved goodbye. He made it back up there just in time he hoped, but he saw Zim sitting up with his back to him. He feigned sighing of relief as the toilet flushed, coming into the room.

"What were you doing, Dib-filth?" Dib cringed at his tone. Zim sounded a little peeved.

"Using the bathroom," he responded, hoping that the alien didn't turn around and see him sweating bullets. He quickly wiped his face.

There was no reply for a moment, before Zim tiredly sighed, "I suppose you really _don't_ know just how sensitive an Irken's hearing is."

Ice entered Dib's veins and froze up the blood. He bit his lip.

"Zim, it's not what you think."

"Oh, no, it's _exactly_ what I think," his voice was low, threatening. Dib felt himself grow smaller. And then the alien screamed, throwing a pillow at the young man, "You were making tons of noise! do not do that again while Zim sleeps!"

And suddenly Dib could breathe normally again and he chuckled more out of relief than anything else. He had been hit in the face by the pillow, but paid it no mind. He adjusted his glasses and nodded, "Alright. I won't."

 _Whew_ …

"Good…" and then Zim fell back onto his extra pillow, out like a light once more.

Climbing on the bunker bed, not an effort put into it since he was much taller now, he pulled out the memory chip from his pants pocket and examined it. It was obviously advanced, too advanced for him to wrap his head around, but if Gir and his assumption were correct it'd give him the answers he needed.

With this thought in mind, he slipped the chip into his pocket again, lay down and went off to sleep...

* * *

 **A/N:** I hope you liked this one. xD I thought some of it was pretty funny. Anyway, this is when I'll start updating every Saturday. No matter how eager I am to get this story out. It's still in process, but it's about 60% done, I believe. So yeah, please review and favorite and follow this story, and I'll see you next Saturday!


	3. Wednesday

**A/N:** Special thanks to auhadeevakatia2002 for leaving a favorite and a follow for this story! but I have another special announcement: please review my stories. It gives me a special kind of steam to continue and I just overall love hearing what you guys have to say. Thank you. Also, this chapter is a little short, coming in around about 1089 words rather than the 3k the other chapters had. But I hope you enjoy nonetheless.

* * *

 **Proper Care  
** **Chapter Three: Wednesday**

Today was the hump of the week. Too bad it was slightly chilly out as Zim and Dib, dressed up in scarves and earmuffs, walked to skool with cups of hot cocoa in their hands this time; it contained caffeine but not enough for them to crash later. It was Zim's turn to hold onto the baby for the class periods, and he didn't really know how to feel about that.

Despite the baby giving them little trouble during the night, Zim felt anxious. He was afraid it would cause them, particularly _him_ , unnecessary trouble during skool. And he was afraid to get attached to it, as Dib had explained on the way to skool what that weird something was when Zim asked.

He wondered why he was even beginning to feel attached to a toy of all things. He was a drone, and he was supposed to be devoid of that, especially towards his former enemy. And Irkens had a lot of enemies.

But he was also defective; Zim knew it now. And he was prone to emotion. Though he didn't think getting attached would be one of them.

During lunch period, he stared at the toy baby, frowning softly. And then Dib showed up at the table, with a bag of his lunch. Zim barely acknowledged his presence, though his antennae underneath the wig had twitched, a little towards his direction.

"Space boy, you alright?" the young, lanky man asked, leaning in slightly. "You're kinds spacing out on me."

He wondered what was bugging Zim. He clearly hadn't taken a look at the memory files the chip had to offer.

Yet.

Dib was just deciding which day was best. Perhaps today, maybe even a Friday. Yes. Friday would be perfect, right after school. He just needed to come up with a good excuse.

Maybe a nonspecific excuse would be good…

Zim, meanwhile, had "woken up", jolting his head up towards Dib. His antennae flattened across his skull beneath his wig and he shook his head. "Zim does not wish to talk about it."

"You sure?" Dib proved stubborn, frowning and furrowing his brow.

"Yes, I am sure," his tone betrayed otherwise though. He wasn't okay. And a part of him wanted to talk about it, but he was also stubborn in his own way, picking at the cafeteria food.

Dib scoffed slightly, reaching into his bag and pulling out two burgers. He tossed the one with space meat to Zim, and it landed near his tray, "Here. Eat."

"You know what meat does to me, Dib-stink," he blinked those deep blue eyes at him, perplexed and slightly peeved off.

"It's the so-called space meat MacMeaties serves," Dib frowned a little more at Zim's tone. "I had yours made at home so it's actual space meat."

Ah, the wonders of being rich.

The Irken blinked again, narrowing his eyes, and he set the bundle on the table and picked up the food, sniffing at it with an unseen nose and then licking at it. Once deemed safe, Zim chowed down and so did Dib on his own burger.

He swallowed a rather large piece down, glancing at Dib, "So you chose to eat meat made out of napkins?"

"Ew, no, I had this one homemade." Dib stuck out his tongue with disgust and smiled. Zim slowly smiled back, and unlike all the other smiles he had seen Zim wear, this one was a genuine, honest-to-gods smile.

It almost made Dib feel bad about snooping. Maybe he should have waited for Zim to tell him. But it was too late, and hopefully Gir wouldn't spill the beans.

* * *

Today was also the day when they split up duties. Dib would change the diaper and Zim would feed and burp the baby and either of them would comfort it. Dib knew about the alien's mysophobia and so agreed on this arrangement.

So at Dib's house, Zim and the owner were doing homework on the floor, the former swinging his legs about as he jotted down the answers for English.

Dib chewed on his pencil as he thought, which wasn't healthy, but it was a strong habit. Zim was eager to point it out.

"Oh, I'm doing it again, aren't I?" Dib flushed out of embarrassment, removing the pencil from his mouth.

"Again, huh?" Zim raised an eyebrow, narrowing his other deep blue eye at the human. Yep, he was still wearing his "disguise" and would whenever they decided on Dib's house.

"Yeah. I should break it," Dib replied, writing down the answer to a problem and then twirling his pencil.

"But what will you write with, Dib-stink?" that eyebrow rose higher, as Zim became perplexed.

The human boy stared at Zim for a while before he realized, and chuckled, shaking his head.

The Irken growled, setting down his hands as if about to pounce, "You dare laugh at the almighty Zim!?"

"No, no," he replied through more chuckles, and then he explained, "I was talking about the habit. I need to break the habit. I wasn't talking about the pencil."

And then Zim relaxed, feeling sheepish himself, and nodded, "Oh. Heh.. heheh.."

Soon, that sheepish little chuckle turned into snickers, and then those snickers rose into laughter. Dib joined him, rather than cower in fear like others might do and he himself had done at times, because this laughter was genuine.

And then that laughter stopped dead as soon as the toy baby was heard crying. Dib sighed as the chuckles died down. It was fun while it lasted.

Zim was the first to get up, stumbling over himself as he recovered from laughing so hard, but Dib adjusted his glasses and merely watched as the alien picked up the baby and cuddled it against his chest, shushing it and murmuring, "Do not cry, human baby. Zim knows everything is okay."

It was like something had taken over the Irken. Dib had never seen him so motherly before. And he was sure at least one camera had gotten it on tape.

The baby, assuaged by the comfort, slowly fell back asleep, and Zim placed it back in the crib gently and carefully.

And then the alien turned back to Dib, noticing how the boy was staring - more like gawking - at him, and narrowed his eyes as he placed his claws upon his hips, "What?"

"Oh, nothing…" Dib fixed his look and smiled.

The alien struggled to stay frowning, but smiles were infectious, he learned that day.

* * *

 **A/N:** And there we go. I hope you enjoyed this installment. I had decided to upload it a day early because, why not? I'd also left a couple references in here, one of Gravity Falls and another one, probably of Gravity Falls too. I wonder if you can find them. Anyway, this story is about eighty percent done, as I had finished up till Chapters Friday/Saturday. I hope to finish it at least by Halloween, even though it's not a Halloween story, or November. But college and my lack of muse for this story are getting in the way, and this is why reviews are important to me. Like I said, please review, take whatever time you have to review. It doesn't have to be long or anything. You have literally no idea how disappointed and sad I get when I get an email and it's not a review.

So, yeah... please review. Thank you! and I'll see you next Friday or Saturday with the next installment.


	4. Thursday

**A/N:** Thanks to Sakuramay24 for leaving a favorite and a follow! and yay, I got reviews! from dib07! lemme just get to those before I impart this chapter to ya.

Dib07 (Ch2 and 3): I get it, my phone sometimes does that too, where the keyboard stops working and makes me hit the send button too soon. Heh, well, you might be right about Dib upsetting Zim by being too snoopy, but we shall see. And I'm glad you liked the pace in which I'm going with this story. I thought I was going a little too fast, with them being "instant friends", but then you made me realize something. It's only a truce, and it'll only be brief. Right?  
I like the part where Dib rescued Zim from Chunk too. It's a far cry from how Dib was as a kid. And yeah, the coffee machine part and them walking to school was my favorite too. :3  
Well, what's on the chip is going to wait one more day (Thursday), which is today and it will be updated again next week. Sorry to keep you waiting. xD Ooooh, where is that super story saga? I'd love to read that. :3  
In any case, I hope you feel better soon, and I'm glad you're almost there!

Anyway, I kept you all waiting long enough. Let's get right into Chapter Four!

* * *

 **Proper Care  
** **Chapter Four: Thursday**

Last night had gone pretty well. The baby had behaved well, and she - yes, they were gendering the baby now - had remained asleep. Perhaps she just needed to get used to things.

Meanwhile, at skool, Dib was chomping at the bits for tomorrow, for answers he probably wouldn't get from Zim. Not that he ever asked, and he felt so bad about that. But the deed was already done. He still had the memory chip in his pocket. Which perhaps wasn't smart but he didn't want to leave it in the garage either.

The human tapped the desk with his pencil, every now and then taking notes, coddling the baby in his other hand. They should have gotten a carrier, but after tomorrow they wouldn't necessarily have to worry about it.

Dib thought back to last night, how Zim had taken the job of comforting to the next level. He wasn't quite sure what was happening with that, along with Zim's change over the past five years, but he found himself starting to like it.

If only he could find out why. And he would tomorrow.

* * *

The human boy adjusted his glasses as he was waiting for Zim to arrive, sitting on the steps. He supposed this was revenge for having taken so long the other day.

Dib sighed as he kept his head down, only looking at the toy baby girl in his arms, knowing that eye contact may instill a fight to happen. Which was perhaps what Zim had done to enrage Chunk. Not that it made it okay at all.

And so nobody bugged him, and he was nodding off when he saw a familiar shadow pass over him. For a moment, he saw actual antennae instead of the classic wig the alien wore. So he jumped out of his skin, amber eyes widening behind his glasses. "Don't do that!"

"Do what, Dib-stink?" came Zim's confused voice as he quirked an eyebrow.

There was silence for a quick, sweeping moment. Why had he jumped? it wasn't like he had been holding the key to five years past in his hands. He was just holding the baby. He took a deep breath. "Sneak up on me like that… it's a little scary.." he sheepishly admitted.

"Zim did nothing of the sort," of course he'd deny it. "Now let's go. Zim wants to go to Zim's house this time." The alien began walking down the stairs.

Dib stood and followed, narrowing his amber eyes, "What took you so long, anyway?"

The Irken refused to answer it seemed. Until he sighed and pulled out a blueprint from his PAK, showing it to the human. "I had asked the principal for the blueprints of the baby since I was curious about how this.. little girl worked."

"I can't believe it."

"What?"

"You hadn't tried to figure it out yourself," Dib raised one arm for a moment, shocked at this new development.

"Quite the shocker, isn't it, Dib-beast?" Zim crunched the leaves beneath him, loving the way they sounded. Dib raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'd have thought you'd be all over this baby and.." he drifted off, not liking the implications.

"I see," Zim gazed upon the blueprint and kept stomping on the fallen, dying leaves, crunching sounds not far behind as he walked. Dib kept staring at the alien's feet, blinking every now and then.

A few giggles escaped the alien, little innocent ones Dib hadn't heard before. It nearly startled him, but he kept watching, and then looked down at the leaves beneath his own feet. They were just begging to be crushed.

"Dib! join Zim in the crushing of the leaves! it's fun!" this sentence brought the human boy out of his trance, and he adjusted his glasses once more, trying to discern if this was still real.

And it was. Zim was still having a blast crushing the leaves.

Was it because it was similar to human bones being smashed? or something much more sinister? or was it just pure, innocent fun?

Dib had no idea what went on in the alien's head, but he took a foot and crushed a leaf underneath. It made a delightful crunching sound. This made him smile, all amongst Zim's giggles and eventual twirling in the afternoon air.

* * *

They entered the fortress covered in leaves. Along the way home, Dib had seen a leaf pile and couldn't resist jumping in. Zim had watched, confused, before he'd joined in, crushing the leaves and sending them everywhere.

Sure it had led to them being chased away by an angry neighbor, but it was the most fun they'd ever had in a while.

"Computer, clean us up!" Zim barked out an order, and down came a blower from a compartment in the ceiling and it proceeded to blow away the leaves, back outside as the door was still open.

Dib's lips comically went everywhere, exposing his gums and teeth, as the machine focused on him now. The force was so strong he had to tighten his grip on the baby girl, who started crying at how loud the thing was.

"Zim, shut it off! it's making her cry!" he said with much difficulty, and the Irken then ordered the machine to stop.

" **Okay** ," the Computer complied, and the blower shut off with a strange whirring sound. To say Zim had come prepared would be an understatement.

They then checked each other for leaves as soon as the baby stopped crying, and were soon finished picking off the remaining leaves, Zim closing the door.

Dib scanned the room and sighed silently of relief. Gir was nowhere to be found. Again. Maybe the robot liked it down there?

His thoughts were interrupted by a tug on his arm, and he looked down to see Zim reaching for the little girl. He gave her to him with no hesitation, and the alien tilted his head at the toy baby.

"Dib, do you think I am getting.. attached?"

This question caught him off guard, but he replied with, "Not necessarily.." biting his lip carefully.

"No.. you're lying," was Zim's strangely calm retort. He rubbed at the baby's head, now free of gauze, his still disguised eyes portraying concern.

"Why'd you ask me then?" he sat down on the couch, fiddling with his fingers.

"Not the point, Dib-stink," he sat down beside the human with a sigh, shaking his head. "I _am_ getting attached. And Zim is not sure whether that's a good thing."

His PAK took off his disguise, and fuchsia bug eyes stared up at Dib, one antenna bent and one standing straight upwards, as if waiting for answers.

Dib realized the reason he asked. Zim wanted validation. He pushed up his glasses, and sighed, "It's a complicated thing, getting attached. I'd argue that it's bad because we're not gonna be keeping this baby. It's skool property."

He saw Zim's antennae droop back, and immediately added, scratching the back of his head, "But it's good that _you_ are. I mean.. you've always wanted to destroy this place. It's nice to see you taking care of something for once."

Zim's antennae perked up, and he stared at Dib before the lights in his eyes changed; he was staring down at the baby now. "And.. _wanting_ to as well?"

"All a part of getting attached, friend," and then Dib gasped, clapping his hand over his mouth. Never would he ever have had that word slip out towards Zim. But it did.

The Irken seemed equally shocked, if not more, if his raised antennae had anything to say. "What.. what did you say, Dib-filth?"

"What did I say? nothing, I said nothing," the human tried to backtrack, but it was too late, as Zim's eyes narrowed.

"I heard you already. You said 'friend', didn't you?" the alien's eyes narrowed further, but it seemed to be out of confusion more than malice. "Do you really consider Zim a.. 'friend'?"

Dib was sweating bullets once again, and he gulped visibly. But how bad could it be? very bad, he decided. He sighed eventually, "It was a slip of the tongue, I guess. I didn't mean to call you that."

"Oh.." his antennae folded downwards. He seemed.. disappointed? that was strange. "Well, while we're on the subject, what is a 'friend'?"

"You've been here for several years and don't know what a friend is?" Dib looked nearly about to chuckle before he saw just how serious Zim appeared. "Uhh, you're serious, aren't you?"

"Zim is always serious," he replied, frowning softly and sitting up the baby in his lap. "I have a rudimentary knowledge of friendship, but apparently not enough. You know what happened with Keef, don't you?"

"Not.. really.." Dib's lip twitched. He didn't know what happened with Keef other than the fact that Zim and he were parading around as "friends". "I only know that you guys weren't friends for long and didn't do much together."

Zim then shuddered, shouting, "He wouldn't leave me alone!"

"Oh, yeah.." Dib mumbled something afterwards, scratching at his head. The baby whined a little, and Zim's antenna twitched, picking up this small vibration. "I remember that about Keef. Whoever is nice enough to be friends with him, he stalks them."

Zim nodded. "But that's getting away from the point, Dib-thing!" he continued to pat the baby, sucking in a deep breath and exhaling it. "I want to know more of what this 'friendship' is."

"So you can use it against me eventually? this is only a truce, ya know," and then his heart twinged, and he flinched when Zim's antennae twitched downwards. That couldn't have been good, and he wanted Zim to teach him all about the workings of an antenna later.

"Yes.. it is.." he looked at the floor with those beautiful ruby eyes. "You know what, never mind about friendship. I'll find out on my own."

"Oh.. good luck with that.." and Dib felt like hitting his head against the wall, multiple times.

* * *

 **A/N:** Oh, look, a downer ending to the chapter! how horrible! anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. I certainly enjoyed writing it! next chapter will come next week! cya then!


	5. Friday

**A/N:** Yay, another review~ let's see!

Dib07: You're very welcome! I love responding to people's reviews. It makes me all happy and fuzzy and warm inside. I'm glad you do! it was a pleasure writing it out! I may or may not reveal what changed Zim's mind about earth, but here in this chapter you'll finally found out what exactly happened five years ago! mind pming me your other thoughts and questions? I'd love to hear them~ also I'm glad you love how I write these two.  
Also, I'm glad that was your favorite part. I loved it too. They're such children. Well, they technically still are children, except, well, Zim, who's grown already. xD  
And well, in this chapter, you'll also find out how at least one of those questions are answered.

Aaaand, without further ado, here's Friday-  
I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

 **Proper Care  
** **Chapter Five: Friday**

The day had finally come. Friday. But Dib was none too eager to find the answers he used to desire. Last night had gone by quieter than usual, the alien sulking as he tried to coerce from the Computer any information about friendship, to no avail. Zim had even fallen asleep on the floor at three in the morning, drooling. How did he know? he tripped over the poor thing while getting ready for skool.

Dib had to make it up to him. But how? his plan didn't allow that in any way. But before they had gone off to school, Dib had made a special milk and honey coffee just for Zim in an "I'm sorry" canteen. Which was really just a canteen with his poor handwriting on it.

Other than mutter about how good it tasted, Zim didn't grace the human with a response.

Maybe he just needed some space.

* * *

Zim sat at his desk with his yet unfinished coffee in one hand and the baby in the other. He'd made it to his fourth period Literature class with minutes to spare, and he tiredly took a sip, rocking the baby as he did. He thought back to last night.

He had no idea why, but what Dib said had hurt him. Even though he would regularly use his explanations and any human subject against the human(s) in the past, he thought that his resolution not to do anything about Chunk and his lackeys would do the trick.

And yet Dib still didn't seem to trust him. He had no idea trust was so hard to gain. And he had no idea why he wasn't talking to Dib now. He wasn't mad, after all. Just hurt.

These emotions were confusing as all hell. _But they are mine to deal with,_ he sighed. He'd been dealing with them for about five years now. He could deal with them for however long he lived.

* * *

It was silent most of the way home. Dib could feel the cold, not only from the weather, but from the alien himself, just emanating. He squeezed himself tighter, trying to huddle himself for warmth. Zim just stared at the ground, appropriately dressed in a coat and sweater, and his PAK was wondrously hanging out. Dib immediately began wondering how that worked. But when he asked, he got this almost testy response:

"I just take my PAK off, get dressed and put it back on again."

And then there was more silence. Dib eventually couldn't take it anymore. He got in front of the alien, arms outstretched sideways, "Look, man, talk to me. I.. I said I was sorry."

"Zim knows. He saw your terrible handwriting on the canteen," Zim stopped, and still his deep blue eyes were directed towards the ground, his face sullen and his hands in his sweater's pockets.

"My handwriting's not that terrible," he shot back, before he realized this wasn't the time, and sighed. "I know you do. And I probably should say it to your face instead of sweetening the deal."

"Zim is listening.."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for snapping like that," Dib sighed, dropping his hands back to his sides with a clapping sound. "It was wrong and I should know better by now. Do you forgive me?"

There was silence yet again, and Zim looked up at the human with pitiful eyes. He narrowed them. "Zim is not ready. But he does accept your apology."

That caused a weight to be lifted off the gangly teenager and he smiled, offering his hand, "Friends?"

The Irken exile seemed to brighten up at this, as there was a new shine to his now wide deep blue eyes. If he wasn't wearing his wig right now, Dib would've seen his antennae stand straight up. But they remained flattened, even as he asked, narrowing his eyes once more, "This isn't a mere 'slip of the tongue', is it, Dib-filth?"

"No, and I'll be willing to teach you all there is about friendship," he kept the hand extended, as if desperate for contact. Dib had hoped this would make himself feel better, but he remembered what he had to do later and he gained a sick feeling in his gut. For friends, _good_ friends, never went behind each other's backs. Or at least, they never were supposed to.

But Dib was determined to find out what happened five years ago, and had convinced himself it was for the greater good.

Zim still stood there, and slowly lifted up his three-fingered claw and placed it in the five-fingered hand. "Like I said, insolent _human_ , I am not ready. But if this is what you wish, whatever."

"Thank you, space boy."

"Whatever, earth creature," and then, holding hands, mostly for Dib's benefit, they continued to walk towards Dib's home. Zim then put forward, "Your hand is cold.."

"Heh, shut up. It was warmer this morning."

Zim giggled.

* * *

It didn't take long for Dib's plan to be put into action. He'd thought up the perfect excuse.

"I'm heading to the library."

"What? and leave me all alone with her?" more resistance, as the Irken narrowed one eye with confusion.

"It's to search for some books on friendship," he lied smoothly, even though this meant he'd have to come home with said books. "And just think of it as the ultimate test of trust."

"Oh.. well, alright then!" Zim instantly chirruped, scratching at his wig. He'd been smiling more frequently. And Dib liked that. "Bring back at least ten books, _if_ you're able, Dib-beast."

Of course, the name attachments kept going. He didn't think they were ever going to stop. And so, with a "I'll try," Dib had gone through the front door to make it more believable. And he snuck right to the garage, where Tak's ship had been collecting dust. A long time ago he figured out how to turn off her personality unit, so luckily that wouldn't be in the way.

Through the window he climbed, making sure not to bump anything. And then he skittered to the ship, opened the windshield and clambered in.

The gangly human smiled at the fact that he could still fit, closing the windshield, but wasted no time in getting out the memory chip from his pocket, biting his lip, and found an insertion. He hoped to gods Zim wasn't hearing all this.

Perhaps the smarter choice would have been to drop him off at his own house and _then_ come here, but he just had to deal.

The videos displayed themselves in folders marked by years, and Dib found himself sweating as he tapped the one that was five years ago. Strangely, there didn't seem to be any video folders after the five years. They all just.. stopped.

This only made his job easier, as he only needed to reach for the last file in this folder. He tapped on it, and let the film play.

" _Not now, Gir. My brilliance mustn't be interrupted!" the still short alien shouted, working on no doubt another device that would destroy humankind. He had this malevolent glare to his bug eyes, a quality that had been absent. "Zim needs quiet as he works."_

" _Okay!" came the high-pitched voice_ _that made Zim cringe._

 _Suddenly, a transmission blared throughout the lab,_ and Dib had to pause it there, fearing it had been too loud. He soon found a way to lower the volume and continued the file.

" _What is this? 'interrupt Zim day'?!" he grumbled afterwards, standing straight from whatever he was working on and heading for the monitor to accept it. When he saw who was on the screen, however, he immediately cleaned up his act. "My Tallests? usually_ _ **I'm**_ _the one to call you. In fact, I was just about to."_

Dib sat up straight too, upon beholding the Tallests on the monitor. He'd seen them twice, but this time was different. They held themselves in a calm, collected, even grave manner.

" _There's been a.. change of plans, Zim," Purple put forth menacingly, narrowing his eyes._

" _Yes, we've called for a special reason," Red was similar, his long, slender hands folded._

" _Are you sending the Armada? but this.." Zim gagged, "stink ball has yet to be primed for the invasion."_

" _We don't care about that!" Purple lost his cool for a moment, before he cleared his throat._

" _Y..you don't?" Zim's antenna twitched downwards, his bug eyes widening slightly. "But, my Tallests, this is your secret mission."_

 _And that's when they laughed right in his confused face. Red soon resumed his gravity, narrowing his eyes, "We'd have thought you'd have gotten it by now, Zim. We lied to you."_

" _Y..you did..?" Zim appeared broken for a moment, before he then proceeded to laugh in_ _ **their**_ _faces. "That's a good one, my Tallests!"_

 _He kept laughing, even as Purple seemed to roll his eyes and Red just stared him down. The tall, purple Irken snarled, "We're not joking, Zim."_

 _And then that laughter stopped cold. "Eh?"_

" _I wish we had been honest from the start," Red blinked those crescent eyes, shaking his head. "But you are just.. insufferable."_

" _Yeah! sending you to the unnamed planet was just a ploy to get rid of you! there is no mission, no invasion, and no conquest!" Purple added, narrowing those malicious eyes._

 _By this point, Zim's antennae had drooped all the way and he stared at the screen with a sad disbelief._

" _You're a defective exile, Zim," Red leaned into the screen. "I suggest you get used to it."_

 _And then the screen went dark. Zim was left all by his lonesome to mope. Aside from Gir being there to comfort, which didn't really help much. In a fit of anger, he shoved his robot buddy aside and completely trashed the lab, screaming bloody murder. And then, when it was all over, he sat by the table, amidst all the rubble, and sobbed._

Dib could only stare, and he bit his lip as he closed out the file, not wanting to see any more. So that's what happened all those years ago. He felt ice in his veins, and moisture on his cheeks. He wiped those tears away and shook his head.

There never was going to be an invasion. They lied to Zim. All to get rid of him. He supposed that he and Zim had more in common than he thought. Both were outcasts from their own society. Dib began to understand the strange mood swings. And he began to understand his current behavior as well.

He numbly opened the windshield, taking out the chip as he did so, and climbed out. The human took shaky breaths, putting the chip back in his pocket, and rushed out the window, to the library. He still remembered to get those ten books on friendship.

* * *

Zim had hoped Dib would come back soon, because he'd just finished feeding and burping the little girl, tending to her cries. And usually after a feeding came the part every parent dreads.

The changing of the diaper.

Both he and Dib had been disgusted to find that she did indeed poop and urinate. _Just what do they put in these toys nowadays?_ Zim wondered to himself.

The Irken exile held the baby tightly, almost afraid to let her go. He waited patiently on the couch, not wanting to do any stupid things such as play with her. But he soon found himself throwing her gently up into the air every three seconds out of boredom, and she just laughed and laughed.

Zim stopped, confused, and the baby just continued to laugh. "You.. you find that funny, don't you?"

He tested it by throwing her up again, and she laughed even harder. The alien pursed his lips, and pretended to toss her up. She giggled.

Slowly, very slowly, Zim allowed a small, half-smile to cross his green face, and kept jostling her, delighted to hear her continued laughter. But the alien grew tired, just when the baby started to stink.

He reacted horribly, cringing and grimacing, and he suddenly didn't want the baby in his lap anymore. He got up, and placed her on the "changing" table Dib and he had set up nearby. "Come on, Dib-filth, do not make me do this…"

And that's when Dib kicked the door down, stumbling into the house with ten books on friendship. Zim's head whipped to the door as he held his unseen nose.

"Dib-monster! you've come back!" nasally he spoke, with a relieved smile.

"What? what's up?" Dib dumped the books on a table, and that's when he smelled it. He scrunched up his face, and sighed.

Zim didn't explain, figuring that the look on Dib's face was enough to let him know.

One diaper change and retching later and Zim was all over the books, studying them page to page on the floor. Every now and then he had questions and Dib, lying on the couch, was more than happy to answer.

"I never knew friendship was this complicated…" Zim blinked, rubbing at his contact lenses. "It's a lasting thing."

"Yep," Dib tried not to betray anything was bothering him and adjusted his glasses. Every time he looked at Zim, he was reminded of the video and even half-expected the alien to shout at him that he knew and punish him for going behind his back. He then continued, "It's an interesting concept all right."

"How could I have been so blind?!" he raised and clenched his claws. "The almighty Zim knew nothing of this 'friendship', but now he can properly use it!"

Dib bit his lip, afraid that the alien was slipping backwards, but that bubble was burst seconds later when Zim giggled genuinely happily, "And you consider me a friend. Oh, what fun will we have!"

And the human sighed of relief as the alien began planning things they could do only to tear them down moments later, and even smiled. It seemed that Zim forgave him. Things were looking up.

* * *

 **A/N:** Okay, so, guys, I want to let you know something. Next chapter is in the works, but I've been suffering a writer's block on this particular story and there's so much to do for college and Bendy Chapter Five came out yesterday and I'm worrying about it since I can't play it yet. The update is queuing but it keeps queuing. And I dunno what to do. So my thoughts are mainly focused on those things. If I don't have it out by next Saturday, I apologize, but I swear to you I am not giving up on this story. Just three more chapters to go and it's done. I just need more steam and more thinking time to this. I hope you understand.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, and I also hope you review, fave and follow! next chapter will come whenever! ta ta for now!


	6. Saturday

**A/N:** FINALLY! I managed to rework and finish this chapter today! it's hot off the press too!~ also, I watched Enter the Florpus today and Fall Semester also started today, so that was fun. xD  
Lemme reply to a few anon reviews~

A fan:/ Ah, you've got your continuation right here, my friend! sorry it took so long!

Dib07:/ Ah, that's fine! I ran a lot late with this here chapter but it's finally here! yeah.. Zim is kinda in a bad place. But hopefully Dib will pick up the pieces. And probably not mess up too. Whew. And yeah, that video was a doozy, wasn't it? I'm shaking even now just thinking about it. And yeah, especially since they used to be enemies and at each others' throats. Anyway, here's your update~ I hope you like! :3 we should talk more by the way!

Alright, everyone! read on!

* * *

 **Proper Care  
** **Chapter Six: Saturday**

Zim and Dib had decided to move to the former's house for the night, and today would have been a day of sleeping in, had the baby not cried and woke them up early in the morning and again at eleven o'clock. Zim had grabbed another cup of sweetened, milky coffee as well as milk for the baby to drink, as Dib tiredly prepared a breakfast of waffles and eggs, with GIR helping out in his own way.

"You puttin' soap in 'em?" the little robot asked with a grin.

Dib flinched and shook his head, letting the eggs sizzle and the toaster cook the waffles. "No, GIR. I'm not putting soap in the waffles."

"Mm.." GIR looked disappointed, pouting as he stuck out his tongue. Dib merely gave him a pat on the head as he yawned.

"'Ey, Zim. Is the formula ready?" the teenager looked in his direction, and Zim nodded, taking a sip of the coffee, which worked to perking him up perfectly.

"Oh, yes, Db-filth! this so-called formula is ready to go!" the alien chirruped, grinning. He then frowned, staring at it. "It's just milk though, nothing special."

"Ha.." the male chuckled, buttering the waffles as soon as they popped up. GIR sprinkled, rather poured, the cinnamon onto the batch. "Hope you know what you're doing, GIR…" Dib muttered, his lip twitching, before he continued talking at a normal volume. "Just getting in the moment. Also, I thought we agreed on no coffee after that crash?"

"Oh, Zim has.." the Irken began walking to the baby's station in the kitchen, smirking mischievously with the bottle in his hand, "adapted."

He picked up the baby and stuffed the nipple gently into her mouth, watching as she started suckling it. He couldn't help smiling genuinely.

"Lucky.." Dib harrumphed playfully, much to Zim's amusement. "Anyway, breakfast is ready." He plopped the eggs onto the plates and then GIR practically filled the plates with syrup, causing Dib to flinch. "GIR might have added too much cinnamon... and.. syrup."

Zim shrugged. "I like sweet things." He placed the baby down after adjusting her hands to hold the bottle and hopped on over to fetch his plate. Upon seeing the soaked, sliced waffles, he blinked. "GIR…"

"Sorries!" the tiny defective SIR unit waved as he ran to the toilet and flushed himself down to the labs.

"Huh.. guess he's not joining us.." Dib noted with a confused expression, brow furrowed.

Zim walked past him to the living room, sitting on the couch. "It's okay. He likes it down there. Minimoose too."

"I ha.." Dib was about to say that he hadn't seen Minimoose down there but that would have blown his cover. He promptly fixed it as Zim pinned him with a curious look. "No wonder I hadn't seen him!"

"Okay, Dib-stink," he made himself comfy, placing the mug of coffee on the arm of the couch, and the moment the alien turned away to grab the remote Dib breathed a silent sigh of relief. Though he couldn't help thinking that Zim knew and was waiting for the reproach. "Are you coming? it won't be long before she finishes her breakfast."

"Right!" he grabbed a small milk carton and headed over with his own plate. Sitting, he focused on the television, tearing open the carton carefully as Zim ate, smothering the already smothered waffles and eggs in syrup.

"Whatcha wanna watch?" the alien asked between mouthfuls, holding the remote.

"Anything that's good, I guess?" Dib replied, and then took a bite of both a piece of waffle and an egg.

Zim dropped the remote just then and it landed softly on the plush couch. "Mm, I guess we're watching a black screen then."

As one who had been subjected to nothing but the Scary Monkey Show and Shmoopsy, he didn't believe there _could_ be anything good on television. Dib snatched the remote just then, shaking his head, "Now hold on just a second! you didn't even try!"

The alien glanced at him forlornly, and the sharp anger faded away instantly. Clearly, Dib had pushed a button. Just like he pressed the power button and stuffed a waffle into his mouth. Zim shrugged, eating more. "Eh.."

The Monkey Show was playing quietly in the background, and Dib took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay, man, what's wrong? you gotta talk to me."

"I'm _fine_ , Dib," his antennae drooped, betraying his true emotions even though he spoke in an unsteady monotone.

"You're obviously not," the teenager bit his lip. "We're friends, aren't we? friends talk to each other."

Zim said nothing for a while, eating his breakfast still. Though he seemed to be considering it. Dib didn't see this and gave up. Maybe he'd talk on his own. He turned the channel to the one Mysterious Mysteries would come on, and placed the remote down so he could focus on eating.

They soon finished eating without a word said, their bellies nice and full. Zim grabbed his now warm mug of coffee and sipped at it. "Okay, Dib, you wanna know how I feel?"

Dib shrank inwardly. _Here it comes…_ he took another breath and nodded, leaning closer as he sipped at his milk. "Y..yeah. Of course I do. That's what I wanted."

"Alright. Do not tell anybody or I'll go back to hating your filthy guts," Zim sneered, the first sneer in a long time. Or just the first he'd seen or was directed at him. The human couldn't help feeling small. _Was he..?_

 _Was he going to tell?_

"Well, Dib-filth?"

This jolted him out of his thoughts, and he almost crushed his carton of milk. He nodded again. "I promise!"

He did _not_ want Zim as an enemy again. What did this mean for their truce?

"Good.." the Irken flexed his antennae, closing his ruby eyes. "The truth is, Dib, I hadn't been feeling like myself and it all started five years ago. I thought it would go away eventually, and it did, but now it's somewhat come back."

"All thanks to me, huh?" the human felt bad, rubbing at his bespectacled eyes. He felt like crying again. But he wouldn't. Zim opened those fuchsia eyes and looked in Dib's direction, too forlorn at this point to snap at him for interrupting.

"Well, kinda," Zim took a big gulp of his coffee. "When you said I didn't try, it reminded me of when.." he paused, debating whether he should say it.

"Go on.." the teenager coaxed, his cheek upon his fist. He was deeply listening, and Zim appreciated it.

"When the Tallests told me they lied.." Dib tried his best to look surprised. "At first, I felt like I didn't try hard enough, or at all. But then I realized they truly didn't want me around. To have those.. those _feelings_ switched and flopped around.."

"You weren't used to it," Dib then got up to check on the baby.

"EXACTLY!" the sudden scream nearly threw the human to the ground. "Zim was not.." he clenched his fists, " _used_ to such emotions. Failure, worthlessness, uselessness. It all felt so new to Zim." He placed a claw on his face, covering his eyes.

"I understand…" he decided to hold off on checking the baby and simply stood by near Zim. "Society and I.. don't agree with each other either."

Zim only nodded.

"But hey, at least you can focus on what truly matters."

"Eh?" the Irken pulled his face out from his claw, raising an eyebrow.

"Friendship, and the beauty of earth," Dib smiled, extending a hand. Zim's eyes widened, and the boy chuckled. "What? you _didn't_ think I saw how you look at seasons changing and the nature around you?"

"Pff," the alien rolled his eyes, "you humans may be stupid filthy monsters, but I guess I'll admit you have a.. decent place.."

"Heh, thanks.. I guess," Dib took that as a compliment. He still had his hand outstretched. "So.. whaddya say? wanna be exiles together?"

Zim looked at it, and soon grinned, taking a hold of Dib's hand and hopping up from the couch. _There we go,_ the human grinned back.

"Now, let's check on the baby," the Irken pointed in that direction, and Dib nodded, beginning to head into the kitchen, Zim in tow.

"Alice.." the teen said suddenly.

"What's that?" the alien asked curiously, tilting his head.

"Her name is Alice now," Dib affirmed.

"...I like it."

* * *

 **A/N:** If this is short, I'm sorry. I can't really tell. I might make a chapter for what goes on during the night time but eh. I guess short is sometimes good, eh? I mean... it covered all the grounds and I suppose you can take this as a Wham Chapter. Zim finally confessed! and the mood kinda tumbled downhill and there's a sort of melancholy in it too, even though it lightened again. I hope you like it. Next chapter hopefully should be longer, but it's not a guarantee. I'm kinda writing this flying by the seat of my pants, IZ motivation and muse, and following a sort of.. vague plan? I know how this will end though, even though the details getting to the end are subject to change. xD Just like how Zim confessed to Dib about the Tallests lying to him when originally I hadn't planned for that, and how originally Dib and Zim were going to be over at Dib's house but I made a change last minute.  
So, yeah, I hope you enjoyed and leave a review, and I'll see you when you review, or next time I update, or maybe even in my other stories too! like The Off Color Ruby (SU) and The Property of Falls (Gravity Falls x The Property of Hate) if you decide to read those. Please. Okay, I'll leave you alone now. Cya~


	7. Late Night Saturday

**A/N:** Hey hey hey! sorry I kept you all waiting for this one, but I finally thought up something last night! I would like to thank RandomDragon2.0, hardstone55, Thedevilsangel1, Lexosaurus, and annaboman754 for favoriting and following and octolingkiera for following! really glad you all like this story! :3

And I have a review as well! lemme answer it!

anon:/ Hehe, yeah! glad you liked Zim opening up! it originally wasn't supposed to happen, but I guess the flow of the story demanded it. xD And you shall see. In this chapter!

Enjoy!

* * *

 **Proper Care  
** **Chapter Seven: Late Night Saturday**

It was now evening at Zim's home, and the baby, now christened Alice, was fast asleep in her crib. Nonetheless, Zim and Dib were trying their best to be quiet. The bespectacled human hummed, wondering what they could do together.

Homework was done already, so they had the entire rest of the night free.

Suddenly, he had an idea, and he grabbed his phone and started dialing. The alien's antennae flicked in that direction, and he looked over, sitting on the couch. "Whatcha doing, Dib-stink?"

"Ordering pizza," was his reply, holding the phone up to his ear now.

"Eh?" one fuschia eye narrowed at this as one antenna lowered with confusion. "This late?"

"Yeah," the human responded, and as soon as someone picked up, he began placing the order. Two large pizzas, one sausage and one cheese.

Once the order was done and they said their goodbyes, Dib hung up, and Zim stretched out on the couch, lying down lazily, still staring at the human. His friend. This made him realize something, his antennae shooting up with alarm. "Mm..!"

"Huh?" Dib looked down at the alien as a claw grabbed his arm. Even with the confession earlier, he still felt like Zim would suddenly punish him for sneaking. Sweat dripped from his brow.

"This was only supposed to be a truce… wasn't it?" Zim studied the young teen, brow raised still. There was a bit of sadness in those bug eyes.

Dib inwardly sighed with relief, placing a hand on his forehead. But there was no calm. What Zim said was something he'd nearly forgotten himself. And the sadness… he frowned with sympathy. They'd really come a long way, huh?

"We're exile buddies, remember?" he set a hand on the claw gripping his arm, warmly smiling. That sweat was still dripping though.

Zim watched for a moment, before he relaxed, releasing the grip. "Right. Why is your face leaking water, Dib?"

Dib couldn't help laughing at that. "It's sweat.. and I just.." he tugged his collar. "It's just hot, that's all." A lie.

The Irken frowned slightly, tilting his head. "But Zim feels fine; he does not feel.. 'hot'."

"Of course," the human chuckled again. He took a deep breath and patted his sweaty forehead again, trying to cool down. _C'mon, nerves. It's okay._

Dib went on to say, "You're gonna have to disable your security system for the delivery guy, ya know."

"Oh, okay," he fished around in his pocket, pulled out a red portable button and pressed it. All at once, they could hear the system powering down. "Done." He put it back, and then begrudgingly donned his disguise, and now deep blue, _human_ eyes stared at the young teen.

"Thanks," Dib smiled, and blinked. "You don't have to put it on till the doorbell rings."

"Zim likes to be prepared."

And not many minutes later, the doorbell rang, and Dib hopped off the couch to answer it, getting his money out and ready. He opened the door, and behind it was the delivery guy.

"Special delivery," the man said dryly, and he looked straight at Dib. "Nice place you have here." Must be new.

Zim slid off the couch and crept up to Dib's side, peeking out at the delivery man. "Actually, it's _my_ place." Prideful as usual, a hand on his chest.

"Cool," he ripped off a receipt as Dib paid him, giving the alien the receipt and Dib the pizza boxes. "Enjoy the pizza."

And then walked away to the van. Zim rubbed at his left eye, glancing up at Dib with his right with a slight frown. "Well, that was _certainly_ a nice guy," sarcasm dripped from his tone as he glared at the receipt.

Dib only shrugged and closed the door, heading back to the couch. Zim powered the security system back up just like that, wasting no time. The sole human in the house set the boxes on the table that just appeared for them in front of the couch, and stared at this new table with amazement. He then looked at Zim as the alien put the remote back, still holding the receipt awkwardly in his hand. "Paranoid much?"

The tone suggested he meant it in good will, so Zim wasn't too much bothered, but being called paranoid… he frowned, taking off his disguise and letting his eyes and antennae relax. "Your planet doesn't exactly have the nicest people, Dib-beast."

 _...he has a point._

Dib nodded, reaching for the receipt, and the Irken handed it to him before he plopped back on the couch, looking at the two pizza boxes as the human put the receipt on the table and opened the boxes. One sausage, one cheese.

Zim flinched at the one with the obvious meat on it. Dib pointed to the cheese pizza. "That's yours."

The green person slid his ruby gaze over to it, and he nodded, seeing no meat. He grabbed a slice and started eating, making sure he was neat about it. It tasted pretty good. Now he finally knew what all the hubbub was about Bloaty's pizza.

"Like it?" Dib grinned, though he really didn't have to ask. The sparkle in Zim's eyes were enough.

"Yes!" he nearly shouted, throwing his hands in the air. Dib shushed him quietly, eyes wide. Zim realized his near mistake, and slowly put his arms down. "Oh. Alice is asleep…"

The human sighed and soon picked up his sausage pizza, eating too. And so the rest of the night was spent eating pizza and talking and when they finished, exhaustion from a full belly crept onto them.

And after they cleaned up the boxes and crumbs, Zim quietly muttering about germs, they plopped onto the couch and instantly fell asleep, the table disappearing under the floor.

* * *

 **A/N:** Alright! so this is just a chill, fluff chapter. Not much happens, though I could have sworn it was longer than 973 words. I wrote this on my phone, like I do several works recently now. Hope you like it anyway. :3

Time to write Chapter Five of The Property of Falls! hope to see you there!


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